August 11, 2009

BPDP 3: Kids Get In Free


T Mafia said...

JD (the Anti-Kingslee) is, of course, totally right: Season One Tootie on Facts of Life was just fucking ready for it.

a) She always wore those big, clunky roller skates that would make it impossible for her to escape you as long as you made sure that you chased her down and raped her indoors.


b) Even if she managed to get away from you and fled the school altogether, how fast can she possibly skate away on those sexy little ten-year-old legs of hers?

The Wreck Roar said...


Leave it to JD to find the one gay restaurant hosting a magic show. Too funny.

If James directed "The Incredible Hulk", he'd have Hulk join in the gang rape instead of saving that Mexican girl. Having this in mind and coupled with his enthusiasm to "The Black Pipe Layers?/Players?", JD's turning out to be a huge proponent of gang bangs.

Enjoyed the public access stories. Specifically the one about the black Jabba the Hut who discovered you guys. And I don't think I'm aware of any of those movies that Cecil douchebag picked out for the donation drive. Way to select some obscure shit that don't resonate with the masses.

G.I. Joe exceeded the studio's expectation and they're already in the process of developing a sequel. All the actors are contracted for a sequel but Sommers isn't, which is good.

Hey did you see this yet? American Pokemon Pimp
Pretty funny video the Spill crew put out in their early days. You get to see what Korey, Leon, and Co-Host look like in real life.

She's not traditionally hot but I wouldn't reject Michelle Rodriguez. She was appealing in the Fast & Furious movies.

I think I'm the only one who hated Heroes from the get go. Boring talking heads show that purports to be a bad-ass super hero series.

Christina Ricci was brought up but no mention of Gollum. Surprising.

I love how you got tricked into thinking The Eternal was some new Hollywood blockbuster film. You had genuine interest when JD first mentioned it and I laughed my ass off when you realized what he was referring to.

Some more potentially good movies coming out later this year besides the ones you mentioned: Zombieland, The Lovely Bones, New York I Love You, Jennifer's Body, The Road, and possibly Dr. Parnassas if it comes out this Dec.

The whole pedo gag was fucking epic. Pure Comedy Gold. It was relentless. Polanski would be proud. Though, the Kalie/Trixie debacle left JD in a Sophie's Choice predicament. So many great moments that I can't possibly quote them all. Some of my favorites:

JD - And that little white girl I wanna bang...
Tim - Wait a minute. Hold up. That girl was about 9, 10...
JD - Well, she's 23 now.

JD - I'm gonna google her name tomorrow. Kalie, is that a C or K, Tim?

JD - She was all loose. All willing to talk to people. I was like "Yeah, I like this."
Tim - That's called child hood innocence and wanting to see the world and talk to different people.
JD - No, she was sleeping with a black man. 8 years old, she was hooking with a black man!

JD - She stuck up for Speed. That's what I need. A strong white woman.

JD - That's a tough question. Little Trixie or Kalie
Tim - Stop. Cut. That's a wrap. Never mind.
JD - Yeah, I'm gonna wrap them up. Yeahh!

JD - I was like "Damn, is she seeing someone at the time? Damn girl, cut a nigga some play."

JD - You have to realize something, they are new to the world at that age. There's no black. There's no white. There's no nigger. There's no white trash.

JD - I have to let them go. Cause at 13 or 14, if I take them to the restaurant, I can't get no kid's meal price.

JD - You act like this is wrong. We sposed to help out the youth.

Kirsten Dunst from "Interview with the Vampire" would be a good match for James. She's a strong white woman (literally), has lots of experience with gang bangs (Lestat, Louis, etc.), and she's forever young.

Excellent episode guys. I guess this is the type of perverse show you get when interrupting JD from beating his meat.

# of times Tim said nigger during this episode = 3
# of times JD said nigger during this episode = 12

XantesFire said...

I used to dream of grabbing Tootie's pigtails and pulling her down.

J.D can't be the Anti-Kingsley, J.D said he'ld do little boys, so he would be an inverse of Kingsley.

Kaley? Calie? From Kid zone?

J.D. saw a documentary on Celine Dion? Tim are all your friends gay in denial? I mean it seems that unless you're a guy getting paid to be in a gang bang, you're only there so you can be close to other guy's cocks without appearing to be gay.

Heh heh, a nigger count.